My Conversation With JFK Coincidence Theorist

It is sometimes a burdensome and wearying task to educate the uninformed about the truth of the Kennedy assassination, but I feel compelled to do it whenever I bump into a coincidence theorist (i.e., one who believes Oswald acted alone, or a "lone nutter"). I call them coincidence theorists because they must overlook a mountain of suspicious coincidences to believe no conspiracy was involved in JFK's murder. For instance, the accused murderer had a direct link to one of the men charged with investigating the murder. Lee Harvey Oswald and his family lived with Ruth Paine in Dallas at the time of the assassination. Ruth Paine's mother was best friends with Mary Bancroft, Allen Dulles's mistress. You know, the same Allen Dulles who was on the Warren Commission. Ruth Paine's statements to authorities helped frame Oswald for the murder. Dulles never disclosed his relationship to Paine. Just a little suspicious, don't you think? Anyway, the other day a stranger sitting next to me is reading a copy of Vincent Bugliosi's book "Reclaiming History." I casually remarked, "You don't believe those lies, do you?" The stranger looked at me like, "Who are you?" I told him I was an author currently working on a book about the assassination called "The President's Mortician." His eyes narrowed in disbelief. He fumbled for words, and finally said, "Why Mortician?" I replied, "Because a mortician alterd JFK's wounds as the the President's corpse was being transported between Dallas Parkland Hospital and Bethesda Naval Hospital on Novemeber 22, 1963." The stranger exclaimed, "Why would anyone do that?" "Simple," I said. "To make it appear as if he had been shot from the back and not the front. Thus the autopsy report could be used to frame Oswald." The stranger gathered his thoughts and said, "But that would mean that the autopsy had to contradict what the Dallas doctors said. How do you know which group of doctors was right?" I responded, "Whom should we believe? The doctors who were experts in gunshot wounds and who saw JFK immediately after he was shot, or the autopsy doctors who had never performed an autopsy before and who were not experts in gunshot pathology and who saw JFK six hours after he was shot?" The stranger put down the book and thought about that one for a while.