Sunday, January 20, 2013
It was bound to happen. At a gun show recently some toothless nimrod with a loaded shotgun fired off a few rounds and struck some of his fellow hillbillies. Statististics tell us this sort of thing is inevitable whenever people gather in a place where guns and ammunition are stored. I am surprised it does not happen more often at these gun shows, where you'll find the most frightening, backwoods, survivalist-type, Ted Nugent yahoos imaginable. It is a scary place; you almost expect a massive firefight to break out over the slightest provocation: such as a liberal walking in, or a Muslim showing his face. Or maybe just a common disagreement. I have this fantasy movie which plays in my head, where one NRA moron at a gun show tells another NRA moron at a gun show to put out his cigarette or to stop having intercourse with the Confederate flag. I call it "Redneck Down." Hundreds of stupid gun nuts open fire on each other in a huge convention hall. And it just so happens that Wayne LaPierre, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and a Congressional Republican delegation are in attendance. The shooting goes on for days (after all, there are endless supplies of weapons and ammo at these shows), and in the end only one Minuteman is left standing. Every other fascist gasbag has been blown away. The media jump all over the story. The public rises up in indignation. Strict gun legislation is enacted. In a delicious irony, the blowhards who scream the loudest about gun control are done in by their own violently paranoid delusions. I know, I know. It's too good to be true. But I can dream can't I?