Monday, January 26, 2009

FOX broacaster Joe Buck blasts Cardinals' Front Office

On a local radio show last week, Joe Buck, former Cardinal play-by-play guy and now lead sportscaster for FOX Sports, criticized the St. Louis Cardinals front office for their lack of commitment to improving the team. "I don't think they've done enough," Buck said. "They better get to work. They've got a lot of holes to fill."

The Cardinals need a closer, an upgrade at second base, a quality left-handed reliever, a starting pitcher, and an improved bench if they intend to improve on last year's fourth-place finish. The 2009 roster is worse so far because they've lost .317 hitter Aaron Miles and effective starter Braden Looper. They're counting on the feckless Adam Kennedy to play second base; Kennedy homers about as often as Isringhausen gets batters out 1-2-3 in the ninth. Oh yeah, speaking of that washed-up ragarm Izzy, the owner, Dollar Bill DeWitt, and GM, John "Moans-a-lot" Mozeliak, are actually in negotiations to bring Izzy back. On the cheap, of course. Nothing makes Cards fans wet themselves quicker than seeing Izzy trying to protect a 4-3 lead in the ninth. He blew about 55 games last year. It got so bad I started using the wordy "Izzy" as a verb to describe lots of stuff. When my wife and I babysit our one-year-old grandson, we each take turns changing him when he "Izzys" his diapers. If one of my pals on the golf course misses a six-inch putt, he "Izzys" it. And my granddaughter's tee-ball coach now just says to the girls, "Okay, 'Izzy' one," when he wants them to place a ball on a tee.

But back to the skinflint owner, Dollar Bill DeWallet, George W. Bush's good friend, has been suckering St. Louis baseball fans, aka the red sheep, for years. While pocketing the cash from three million yearly attendance, parking revenues, licensing, concessions, selling off the every last scrap from the old stadium (even urinals), he annually claims the Cardinals "just miss out or come in second" in bidding for free agents (see A.J. Burnett). Meanwhile the franchise's value has tripled since he bought it.

Buck added, "My season ticket check evidently cashed, because it came out of my bank account. So, I'm assuming they have people's money. And it's time they go spend some of it."

Friday, January 23, 2009

Need A Good Laugh? Here's My Translation of CIA "Spy Master's" Book

The other day I ran across a promotion of a reprinted book, that, if it weren't so diabolically evil would be howlingly hilarious. It was Allen Dulles's book "The Craft of Intelligence: America's Legendary Spy Master on the Fundamentals of Intelligence Gathering For A Free World." Let me translate the title from CIA double-speak to plain truth for you: "The Purpose of the CIA: To Give Safe Haven To Nazis, To Brainwash American Citizens, To Subvert Freedom Of The Press and Free Speech, and To Overthrow Duly Elected Leaders For A Neo-Fascist World."

The publisher's synopsis of the book is a devilish hoot--"...[Dulles] explains how the Soviet Security State recruited operatives and planted 'illegals' in foreign countries." Translation--The Soviets learned this technique from us when we sent fake defectors like Lee Harvey Oswald over to Russia.

Publisher--"[Dulles] spells out...the philosophy and role of intelligence in a free society threatened by global conspiracies." Translation--The philosophy and role of the CIA is to serve its military-defense contractor masters in propagating unjust wars and suppressing dissent. Domestic conspiracies, like murdering a US president and covering it up, are sometimes necessary to preserve the power of the security state.

Publisher--"Dulles also [denies] that the 1961 [Bay of Pigs] invasion was based on a CIA estimate that a popular Cuban uprising would ensue." Translation--We knew the invasion would fail, but we went ahead anyway to embarrass the new president and show him who was boss.

Publisher--"This is a book for readers who seek wider understanding of the contribution of intelligence to our national security." Translation--This is a book to keep you in the dark about the atrocities committed by intelligence in the name of national security.

Publisher--"When Dulles died...President Nixon remarked, " the nature of his task, his achievements were known only to a few." Translation--What Nixon meant was, it's a damn good thing his achievements were known only to a few of us.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cardinals Owner Employs Bush Tactics To Deceive Fans

The weather here is miserable, and it won't let up until baseball season gets here. So today I want to daydream about the Cardinals starting spring training, but Bill DeWitt, Jr., owner of the team, is letting the franchise slide while he squirrels away the dough. Moreover, in a deceitful attempt to quell the dissenting fans, he's using tricks he learned from his great friend, fellow Republican, and Liar-in-Chief, George W. Bush.

Every off-season, the Cardinals front office makes a big, blustery splash in the local rag by telling us dupes how aggressive they are going to be in signing free agents to improve the team. And each off-season, nothing happens. Meanwhile, the franchise's value has tripled since DeWitt bought it. Estimates have it at nearly $500 million now, but payroll is declining. Last year, DeWitt spent about $105 on salaries, or so he says. This year, it's at about $80 million. Still, he whines about the economy and the risk of long-term contracts. Long-term contracts don't seem to bother the best teams in baseball, like the Yankees, Red Sox, and Cubs. Those teams understand the cost of doing business in today's game. And the red sheep who call themselves Cardinal fans pour through the gates three million strong per year, regardless of the team's ability.

As my beloved Constitution was being trampled and shredded by W and his band of thugs, so are my beloved Cardinals being run into the ground by W's good pal. Last year we finished fourth in the NL Central. This year, we might field a team of Albert Pujols and a bunch of inexpensive ballplayers.

Today we gleefully said good-bye to King George the Dumb; why can't there be term limits for baseball owners too?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Strange Case Of JFK's Personal Physician

In perusing HSCA (House Select Committee on Assassinations) on-line documents recently, I came across this disturbing document filed by George Burkley, JFK’s personal physician. Let me give some background first. The Dallas Parkland doctors, in the early afternoon of Nov. 22, 1963, described two wounds on the president—a wound of entrance on the throat, near the Adam’s apple, and an exit wound, about the size of a fist, on the lower right rear of the president’s head, in the occipital-parietal area.

The Bethesda Naval autopsy doctors, hours later on the evening of Nov. 22, 1963, saw a completely different set of wounds on the president. The throat wound had been enlarged to three times its Dallas size, and appeared to be a wound of exit. There also appeared to be a bullet’s entrance wound on the upper back, near the shoulder blade. The head wound was massive and involved nearly the entire top right portion of the president’s head. THE OCCIPITAL-PARIETAL WOUND WITNESSED BY THE DALLAS DOCTORS HAD DISAPPEARED! That portion of the president’s head appeared to be intact at Bethesda. The only conclusion a reasonable person could draw was that the president’s body had been altered sometime between Dallas and Washington D.C. Thus, also, was the direction of the shots reversed. All evidence of shots from the front was erased. Only evidence of shots from the rear remained. (Was this trajectory reversal at the heart of the plotters' scheme to frame Oswald?)

In 1976 Burkley was contacted by an investigator for the HSCA named Richard Sprague. Through his lawyer, Burkley made a statement to Sprague that “others besides Oswald must have been involved.” Burkley surely became convinced of a conspiracy after seeing the conflicting wound patterns on the corpse on Nov. 22, 1963. Burkley was perhaps the only doctor who saw the body’s condition in both Dallas and Washington. But when Sprague was fired from the HSCA, Burkley’s testimony was never taken. Instead, he submitted the below affidavit:

Reference copy, JFK Collection: HSCA (RG 233) AFFIDAVIT I, VICE ADMIRAL GEORGE G. BURKLEY (M.C.) (Ret.) living in Los Angeles, California, being duly sworn make oath as follows:

I was interviewed in January, 1978 by T. Mark Flanagan, Jr. and Donald A. Purdy, Jr. of the staff of the Select Committee on Assassinations. During the interview I set forth the substance of the information which follows. At this time I reaffirm that this information is accurate and truthful to the best of my knowledge. This statement is made freely, voluntarily, and with out threats, promises, assurance, or remuneration from any source. I was Personal Physician to President John F. Kennedy in November 1963 and accompanied President Kennedy on the Texas trip. I was at Parkland Hospital and later at Bethesda Naval Hospital on the evening of November 22, 1963. I saw President Kennedy's wounds at Parkland Hospital and during the autopsy at the Bethesda Naval Hospital. There was no difference in the nature of the wounds I saw at Parkland Hospital and those I observed at the autopsy at Bethesda Naval Hospital. 1. I was with President Kennedy in Dallas. I arrived at the Parkland Hospital within five minutes of the President's arrival. I checked the Presidents physical condition, gave the doctors working with the President the blood type and some adrenal medication (Sol U Cortef) to place in the intravenous blood and fluids which were being administered. My findings clearly indicated that death was certain and imminent. 2. One of the doctors reported to me vital signs of life no longer could be elicited. I rechecked the vital signs of President Kennedy and there was no sign of life. I reported to Mrs. Kennedy who was nearby in the treatment room that President Kennedy was dead. 3. I remained with the President's body in the treatment room until the body was placed in the coffin and I saw it closed. There was no movement or manipulation of the body other than removal of the intravenous equipment during that time. 4. In Dallas I traveled from the hospital to the Air Force One in the ambulance with the President's body in the casket and also on the plane; the casket was neither opened or disturbed in any way. 5. I had ordered the United States Naval Hospital to be prepared for performing an autopsy on the body of John F. Kennedy, President of the United States, the permission having been granted by Mrs. Kennedy while enroute. It was to be a complete autopsy with no limitations and no curtailment in time necessary for completion. 6. I traveled from Andrew's Air Force Base in the ambulance with the President's body to the Bethesda Naval Hospital and accompanied the coffin to the autopsy laboratory and saw the body removed from the coffin and placed on the autopsy table. 7. I directed the autopsy surgeon to do a complete autopsy and take the time necessary for completion. I supervised the autopsy and directed the fixation and retention of the brain for future study of the course of the bullet or bullets. 8. The autopsy material was retained in a secure area and subsequently turned over by Captain Stover USN to me and a member of the Secret Service. We took this material immediately to the EOB Building where it was placed in a locked file cabinet by the Secret Service. 9. Senator Robert Kennedy, representing Mrs. Kennedy and the Kennedy family, directed that the autopsy material be transferred to the National Archives. This was done on April 26, 1965. See attached letter of transmittal with listing of individual items. The notation under Item #9, one stainless steel container, 7" in diameter x 8", containing gross material, represents the container of the brain. This material was accepted and signed for by Mrs. Evelyn Lincoln and witnessed by three people. Signed copies of these affidavits are attached. I understand that this affidavit may be introduced and received into evidence by the Select Committee on Assassinations of the United States House of Representatives, and may lead them to make various findings of fact, and the statutes applicable to Congressional investigations, including but not limited to those concerning false statements, obstruction, or misleading, would subject me to criminal penalties for not telling the whole and complete truth in this affidavit.

GEORGE G. BURKLEY SIGNATURE Vice Admiral George G. Burkley (M.C.) USN (Ret.) Personal Physician to President John F. Kennedy

Interesting that Dr. Burkley, possibly the only medical person who saw the body in both places (Parkland and Bethesda), signs an affidavit which states that the wounds he saw were unchanged from Parkland to Bethesda. All other medical personnel testimony contradicts his affidavit--the Dallas doctors saw one set of wounds, the Bethesda doctors saw another set of wounds. Therefore, Burkley's statement is at odds with all other known medical testimony concerning JFK's wounds. One then must choose to believe Burkley or all the other doctors (and there were dozens). I tend to discredit Burkley's affidavit, because it is refuted by all other medical descriptions of the two wound patterns. Also, Burkley has no explanation for FBI agents' Sibert and O'Neill testimony that one of the autopsy doctors stated "surgery of the head area had been performed." No such surgery took place in Dallas, so when and where had this surgery been performed? Burkley gives us no clue.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Three Questions I Never Got To Ask William F. Buckley, Jr.

Beloved by the far right and hailed as conservatism's intellectual (an oxymoronic term) voice, William F. Buckley died without ever answering hard questions. There are three I would have asked, and I'll supply the answers I think Bill would have given:

1) You've never spoken publicly about your work with the CIA and the nefarious connections by which your family accumulated its fortune. Why?
Bill's response: You've committed a logical fallacy; to wit, you have adduced subjective opinion from objective fact.
The truth: Billy worked under E. Howard Hunt in the 1950s before using his family's wealth to start up the National Review and a neo-fascist organization called Young Americans for Freedom. Much of his family's wealth was derived from their oil company, Pantipec Oil. The president of Pantipec Oil was Warren Smith. Two men who worked for Smith at Pantipec were CIA contract agents, George deMohrenschildt and Jack Crichton. DeMohrenschildt, identified as Lee Harvey Oswald's best friend in Dallas by the Warren Commission, was a rabid anti-communist/oil geologist who mentored Oswald in Dallas's right Russian community. Crichton sat on the board of Dorchester Gas with a man named D.H. Byrd. Byrd, owner of the Texas School Book Depository, close friend of Texas oil millionnaires and LBJ, and founder of the Civil Air Patrol, made a fortune off the Vietnam War after JFK's assassination. LBJ started up the Vietnam War for real, and Byrd's Ling-Temco-Vought got a fat defense contract for building fighter jets.

2) Do you now denounce your racist diatribe from the August 24, 1957, issue of National Review?
Bill's response: I never laid claim to that piece, and, what's more, I have recanted those words.
The truth: Buckley never issued a retraction or recanted this editorial which ran in NR:
"The central question that whether the white community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not prevail numerically? The sobering answer is Yes--the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced race. It is not easy, and it is unpleasant to adduce statistics evidencing the cultural superiority of White over Negro..."

3) In your televised debate with Gore Vidal on Aug. 28, 1968, you, the supposed master of detached and civil rhetoric, resorted to obscenties and coarse name-calling. Was this an admission that Gore had, indeed, kicked your ass?
Bill's response: Fuck you, leftist.
The truth: Buckley lost his temper, called Vidal "a queer," threatened to punch him "in the goddamned nose," and accused him of being "plastered."

Nonetheless, the right wing shed huge crocodile tears over Bill's passing in 2008.