The weather here is miserable, and it won't let up until baseball season gets here. So today I want to daydream about the Cardinals starting spring training, but Bill DeWitt, Jr., owner of the team, is letting the franchise slide while he squirrels away the dough. Moreover, in a deceitful attempt to quell the dissenting fans, he's using tricks he learned from his great friend, fellow Republican, and Liar-in-Chief, George W. Bush.
Every off-season, the Cardinals front office makes a big, blustery splash in the local rag by telling us dupes how aggressive they are going to be in signing free agents to improve the team. And each off-season, nothing happens. Meanwhile, the franchise's value has tripled since DeWitt bought it. Estimates have it at nearly $500 million now, but payroll is declining. Last year, DeWitt spent about $105 on salaries, or so he says. This year, it's at about $80 million. Still, he whines about the economy and the risk of long-term contracts. Long-term contracts don't seem to bother the best teams in baseball, like the Yankees, Red Sox, and Cubs. Those teams understand the cost of doing business in today's game. And the red sheep who call themselves Cardinal fans pour through the gates three million strong per year, regardless of the team's ability.
As my beloved Constitution was being trampled and shredded by W and his band of thugs, so are my beloved Cardinals being run into the ground by W's good pal. Last year we finished fourth in the NL Central. This year, we might field a team of Albert Pujols and a bunch of inexpensive ballplayers.
Today we gleefully said good-bye to King George the Dumb; why can't there be term limits for baseball owners too?